Where is the love?

I think I've referenced this once before, but it still amazes me the 'every man for himself' aspect of the culture here (except among the Maasai). Not to say that the U.S. doesn't also have this mentality at work, but at least in times of crisis people in the U.S. seem to unite. (Many things we notice here, our 1st response is to think 'wow, that's so bad/horrible,' but then when we stop to think about it, we realize that it's just as much at work in the U.S., only it's more hidden/covert...we're so good about 'buttering' things up in the U.S., doctoring up the outside so as to hide the inside.) Anyway, here, where crisis is a regular lifestyle (which may explain why there's little or no response to it), it doesn't seem to matter. It's almost a 'thank God it's not me' mentality. Not always openly spiteful, but more often simply apathetic to the fact that there are many hurting, sick, starving people here. I know part of it is due to the lack of resources with which to help others, but everyone has the resource of love, compassion and a helping hand...but even that resource does not seem to be shared very often. As an example, in the past month, 2 different mother's have contacted Light in Africa for assitance. Both have experienced similar fates...if I may...

Mother #1 - Her husband died a few years back, most likely due to AIDS, leaving her a widow with 4 children, but at least with a house to live in. (As it turns out, she herself has HIV - thus the reason most think HIV probably killed her husband.) When her husband died (and presumably before she was diagnosed to have HIV), her husband's family gave her the 'wise counsel' that she should probably go back to her family (with the kids), as they could probably help her and kids more than her in-laws could. Sounds good enough, that is until she took their advice and moved back closer to her family. As soon as she did, her in-laws lovingly sold her house & immediately split the proceeds among themselves...so much for at least having a house. Way to go fam...coming to the aid of your daughter-in-law & grandkids in style.

Mother #2 - She has one child and has HIV, as do many people here (10% of adults in TZ have HIV - % of kids with it unknown - not nearly as bad as southern African countries, but still quite a bit). When she was found to have HIV, her husband split, which doesn't make a lot of sense seeing as there's a REAL good chance he has it too...maybe even came from him. When he split, his family also advised her to return to her family. In this case, she had no house they could profit from, they simply did not want the burden of their daughter-in-law or grandson around - would hate to 'have' to care for my grandkids too...such an inconvenience. (The advice for her to move was most likely also driven by the desire to get her as far away from them as possible due to her HIV diagnosis. There's quite a stigma here about HIV...many people almost seem to believe it's airborne...as evidenced by their reaction to people who have been diagnosed with it.)

Maybe a better example of this mentality at work was a month or so ago when a friend crashed his motorcycle on his way home. We were riding together back towards our homes, but he was behind me, so I didn't realize immediately he had crashed. When I noticed he was no longer behind me, I turned around to look for him. As I came upon him & the guy who was riding on the bike with him, there was a crowd quickly gathering. Unfortunately, most of the gathering was simply to see what had happened. Only 1 out of the maybe 20 seemed to be doing anything to help the 2 guys (he had gone off to get some water). Just after I arrived, another guy handed one of the 2 guys (who was bleeding profusely from his head) a small, nasty rag to mop up with (rather than some of the cleaner clothes that were around). At this point, I instinctively grabbed the rag away from them, took off my shirt & pressed it on his head. Later, when another friend arrived to take the 2 guys to the hospital, I was told to put a shirt on (I guess I was being talked about amongst the locals, including the police, due to having no shirt on). I was amazed. It's as if they were more concerned with me being shirtless than with blood pouring down from an open wound in a man's head. Pretty crazy if you ask me.

Then there was the time one of the volunteers, who was a part of building a new dorm for some of the boys, went to get new mattresses the beds they had built. After purchasing 10 new, high quality foam pads for the beds, she arranged to have them covered (in a waterproof-type material) together with one of the Light in Africa staff members (meaning the tailor knew/was told the purpose of these new mattresses). They dropped off the foam pads and were to come pick them up the next day. When she came to pick up the covered mattresses, she immediately noticed that they were different size (length & thickness) than the foam pads she had purchased & dropped off. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what happened. The tailor had generously, sacrificially exchanged the new, high quality foam pads with thin, low quality foam pads. Orphans don't need high quality foam pads like this, they should just be thankful for having a mattress at all, right?!! How thoughtful.

Anyway, it's any interesting thing to observe...the only way I can think to describe it is like watching vultures or hyenas go after a fresh kill...get what you can and get out. Crude metaphor and a bit harsh I admit, but it is what it is. Even more disheartening is seeing this same mentality at work within the government. Again, not to say that it's not also at work within our government back home, but at least there's some amount of assistance made available for those in need...not to mention the fact that it's not like Americans are starving, homeless or the such, which I guess makes any corruption in the government a little less noticeable since even the 'poor of the poor' in America still have it pretty stinkin' good. Who knows, maybe if the U.S. was in the economic state TZ is in, it'd be just the same...maybe people are people whereever we go...selfish by nature...the Daily Me (givin' a shout out for my man Taso) lived out all around us...and yet no one seems satisfied, pain abounds, greed's insatiable appetite continues to grow...maybe the Daily Me isn't where it's at...maybe there's another way that we haven't yet discovered...maybe the very journey Christ sends His followers on...the journey from self to servant...the journey from the Daily Me to the Daily YOU...maybe that's where true life is found...

...of course, the only way to know, is to head out on the journey and see for ourselves...